So Wrong, It Might As Well Be Right
by insertcleverandwittytitlehere
Summary: Teddy made a mistake, but somehow it might just be the right one. Why did being wrong feel so, so right anyways?


**A/N:** This is the Chudley Cannons' Captain checking in for Round 10 of Season 6 of the QLFC.

 **Prompt:** Write about someone having an affair

 **Word count (before A/N):** 2,352 words

 **I am not JK. This is her world. I merely dabble.**

* * *

"You're probably the worst person in all of existence."

Teddy paused, staring into his own brownish-green eyes. He could see, in his reflection, the guilt and heartache etched on his face, both bubbling inside him like a tea kettle waiting to boil over. He also saw just the hint of smugness he felt each time he thought about _her_. The way her hands felt on his chest as they slid down his body, the way her lips pressed against the most sensitive part of his neck.

The way she felt wrapped around his waist…

"No. Nope," he shook his head. This time, he brandished an accusatory finger at his reflection. "You _are_ the worst person in all of existence."

His reflection stood, finger raised like a nagging salute of infidelity. Teddy sighed. This wasn't going to change the fact that it happened.

And it had happened with _her_ of all people.

00000

"Are you listening?"

Teddy pulled at a string hanging from his jumper. It was being rather difficult, holding onto the grey fabric for dear life. Teddy caught it between his fingernails and yanked, but it still clung tight.

"Oh, for goodness-"

A soft, delicate hand gently pushed his away. It's long, thin fingers wrapped around the string and pulled it free with a satisfying _thik._

Teddy looked up into Victoire's eyes, perfect baby-blue orbs.

"Honestly," she rolled her eyes, discarding the string onto the floor. He smiled sheepishly at her, watching as she returned the gesture, a smile spreading across her lightly freckled face.

He used to melt at that smile.

Another pang of guilt stabbed him in the chest, and quickly he had to push out the thoughts of _her_ creeping back into his mind. Of all the places for _her_ to manifest inside his head, this was not it.

"I was just asking you if you thought chocolates or bubbles would be a nice wedding favor."

Teddy swallowed the growing lump in his throat, his surroundings starting to mold back together into a haunting reminder that he was currently shopping for his wedding in one of the nicest boutiques in Carkitt Market. With his fiancee. Whom he had cheated on.

"I dunno," he said, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets. Somehow, being out in the open was worse. He knew he crossed a line he couldn't come back from, making love to _her_ and all that, but at least in the privacy of his own home, he could hide the fact that he was a scumball. In public, everyone could see him. He felt exposed. Vulnerable. Like a wounded cub at the mercy of a pack of starving hyenas.

Except, he was the hyena. Vic was the real victim here.

"I don't know why I even asked you to come," Vic pouted. "I thought it might be nice to choose this stuff together since it's _our_ wedding and all, but if you don't have a worthwhile opinion, maybe you should go."

Teddy bit back his own comment waiting on the tip of his tongue. He hated when she did that, when she made him feel like a burden all because he wasn't doing exactly what she wanted. And while he could have said exactly that to her, they'd been together for so long now that Teddy was able to pinpoint the exact moment a conversation was about to become a row.

Of course it hadn't always been that way; at first, when they were still teenagers, everything was easy. They grew up together and fell right in sync with each other. Like two branches intertwining on the same tree.

But lately, Teddy felt his branch getting strangled, crushed under the weight of what was supposed to happen versus what he actually wanted.

Ten years of dating was supposed to lead to marriage. But he still wasn't sure that's what he wanted...

"Chocolates then," he finally said.

Vic wrinkled her nose. "I don't know," she said. "I like the idea of everyone being able to blow bubbles. It would add a certain decorative element, don't you think?"

Teddy nodded. Because Vic had already made up her mind long before they entered the store. And even if he actually cared about such a trivial detail as to whether their multitude of guests got a small, heart-shaped treat or a vial of Ruby Bee's Magical Buzzing Bubbles, he wasn't getting his choice unless Vic had already chose it.

So he watched her as she picked up the bubbles and tapped her wand to the barcode, magically sending the store clerk her exact order for when they checked out.

He watched the way her eyes narrowed in on her task, her strawberry blonde hair falling into her face. So what if she picked meaningless fights with him; this beautiful woman was going to get hurt, all thanks to him. There was no excuse for that.

Teddy wanted to blame alcohol for his exponentially fatal lapse in judgment, but he couldn't because he was sober and he wanted it just as badly as he knew it was wrong, wrong, _wrong_. And the truth was, he'd do it again. He wouldn't even hesitate.

He loathed himself for it.

"We should look at table linens while we're here," Vic said, pulling Teddy out of his head, away from the images of _her_ that were starting to flip passed his eyes like a silent movie reel. Back in the store, he breathed in the powerful scent of lilac, felt Vic's one hand slowly linking through his arm. Behind him, the little bell above the shop's door tinkled as a new patron entered. Teddy watched as Vic's entire face lit up.

"Lily, what a surprise!"

Before he could stop himself, Teddy jerked away from Vic, her hand slipping from his as he crashed back first into a display of wedding decorations. Teddy fell on top of the glass cabinet as it hit the floor, shattering into a million tiny shards of crystalized pieces. In his scramble to stand back up, Teddy slipped on a satin scarf and tumbled back into the mess hands first. He could feel each sharp sting of glass as it cut little nicks into his skin.

His heart was beating faster than a wild horse's. He dare not look up at either his fiancee or _her_.

"You okay, Teddy?" _Her_ voice came from somewhere far away, as if she were speaking to him through a funnel.

"What in Merlin's name has gotten into you?" Vic scolded. "Will you get up?"

Tentatively, Teddy rested backward on his legs, his eyes finally meeting both women's faces as they stared down at him. The boutique's clerk was shooting him a nasty glare as she began to _Reparo_ the things he'd broken.

"Uh, got a bit scared, I guess," he tried. But Vic rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day, and Lily Potter bit her lips. He could tell she was deliberating what her next plan of action should be.

Then, she bent down to his level, offering a hand to help him up. He could smell the sweet scent of pine coming off her clothes, could feel the way her very touch made his knees buckle and his heart race.

It was _her._ And even though his brain knew just how bad this whole thing was, _she_ was still everything in that moment.

As he stood, Lily leant into him whispering softly, "Keep it together, Teddy."

Her breath was warm and tickled his ear, which only made him want to kiss her, and that, well, that would not be okay.

"You're hands are all bloodied," Vic said, taking one in her own. Lily quickly stepped away, and despite all better judgment, Teddy locked eyes on her chocolate brown ones, where a small fire was starting to burn deep inside her irises. Ever so slightly, Lily nodded her head toward the exit.

"Yeah," Teddy heard himself saying.

"I can help," Lily piped in. "Teddy can come back to my flat, and I can clean him up. It would be good for my training."

"Oh, I don't think his wounds are _that_ life threatening, Healer Potter," Vic teased playfully. "Besides, I wouldn't want to stop you from finishing your shopping, dear cousin."

"Funny enough, I came in here looking for a possible wedding gift for you two crazy kids."

Vic laughed. "Really?" she said.

"Yep! Which means I guess I'll have to wait anyway. Besides, Teddy looks awful, all those glass pieces stuck to his clothes. He'd be in good hands, you know."

"Yeah," Teddy said, wishing he'd just stop talking. "Yeah, Vic, let's let the newly minted Healer get some practicing in."

He really, really hated himself.

"Oh, alright," Vic smiled again, "I can finish up on my own here. Go on!"

And he also really, really was looking forward to whatever this was. Though a giant weight crushed down on him as he kissed Vic goodbye, Teddy couldn't stop the smug smile from tugging at his lips. He followed Lily out of the store, his mind caught between right and wrong, his heart trying to justify a grey area between the two.

00000

Forty minutes later, Teddy watched as Lily pulled his shirt over her bare chest and fell back on top of him in her bed. Lazily he stroked her shoulder with his thumb, his mind surprisingly blank for what had just happened.

"I'm a terrible person," he finally said.

"No you're not."

"No. I am. Lily, we both know this isn't right."

She sighed, her gorgeously red locks shifting on his chest as she turned to look at him.

"I can't dwell on right or wrong. I can't focus on the possibility of hurting my cousin, because if I do, I know I'm going to stop," she said. "And I don't want to."

"That's the thing, Lils. I don't either."

The room was quiet, save for the ticking of a clock somewhere off in Lily's apartment. For a brief moment, Teddy could imagine this life for himself. Waking up in that bed with this girl. Maybe they'd get a cat and raise tiny red-headed kids with thousands of dark, beautiful freckles across their face and neck and back, just like Lily.

"Why?" he asked, shifting away from the girl in his arms. "And how? Why am I doing this. How can I do this?"

He had to go. Now. Merlin, how could he have been so stupid as to do this again?

For her part, Lily was perfectly silent as Teddy dressed himself. He paused only to extend a hand for his shirt still on the young girl. She sat up.

"Why are you with her?" Lily asked. He sank to the bed. "Why are you with her if you want whatever this is?"

"I don't know."

"Then should we stop?"

"No." The word was out before he could even think about the question. "I mean, I don't know. I don't know what this affair is or why I'd rather be here with you when I've been with her for so long. And I don't want to hurt either of you, but something tells me we are way beyond that now."

He dropped his face into his hands.

"I am the worst human being in existence."

"Teddy," Lily was sitting beside him now, her warm hands pressed against his bare shoulders. "I've loved you since I was eight years old. I know I'm going to get hurt, but to me, right now, it's worth it."

"Lily, you don't-"

"No, I do. You've always been there in my life, from my first day at Hogwarts till my last. When I entered the Healers' program and when I graduated. I want this to happen. I'll face the consequences. I know what's at stake."

"Lily…"

"Maybe you need to think about it for a little bit," she smiled sadly, finally pulling off his shirt and handing it to him. She pressed herself against him and left a lingering kiss on his lips.

"I'll still be around once you know what it is you want."

00000

And so, three days later, Teddy watched as his reflection stood with its finger raised like a nagging salute of infidelity once again as Teddy tried to lecture to himself about right and wrong and how there really was no in between on this one.

But no matter what he told himself, it wasn't going to change the fact that it had happened. _Again._ And with Lily, who he had held as a baby and taught to ride a broom and comforted through her first break-up.

All that bothered him more than cheating on Vic did, which was just another really messed up addition to his growing list of wrongdoings. He was more so worried about rationalizing the potential of a relationship with someone else while engaged to a perfectly okay girl at present.

It didn't bode well either way.

"She's only twenty," he told his mirror. "But… Mum and Dad were thirteen years apart. Lily and I are only nine. That's not entirely the worst age gap…

"But I've been with Vic since I was 17. I _know_ her. We've done it all together.

"Yet lately every time we're together, I just don't want to be there anymore."

His reflection squinted back at him, unable to determine what he should do.

"Right good lot you are," he mumbled. Teddy could still feel his heart breaking each time he thought about Vic and the pain this could bring. But…

He met his own eyes once again in the mirror.

"You're still an awful person," he told his smug-looking self.

When he landed in front of a white door after Disapparating, he didn't even have to knock for it to open.

 _She_ smiled at him. "Why, hello again," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. Teddy leant in, kissing her deeply, like it was the only thing that mattered. Like Lily was the only girl in the whole world. It was wrong - they both knew that - but, Merlin did it feel so right.


End file.
